Across the pond

Guess what, kids? I really did quit my job and move to Korea. Like, here I am, good and proper, with an apartment and a job and all. It actually happened.

And I'm not completely insane anymore, which is nice. My last post was at, what, four o'clock the morning of my flight? Brain shattered with nerves, internal organs fighting over which one got to be the first to leap out of my throat, desperately trying to sort out one more way to keep from packing and making all of this real, sleep profoundly not an option... By six, it was pretty much all over. Mostly because I was too tired to muster the energy to freak out anymore. I just finished packing and took a shower and waited for Dad to get up. I got a lovely early morning call from Dave and Ashley wishing me off. And everything was just, you know, fine. Or at least I couldn't do much about it anymore if it wasn't, so screw it.

I had my worldly belongings crammed into four huge bags (which I had to pay extra for -- yet another way for the supposedly cash-strapped airlines to wring yet more money out of us), and stopovers in Minneapolis and Tokyo; so plenty of opportunities to lose everything I own on the way to Korea. Which didn't happen, but that, pretty much, was what I was allowing myself to worry about. It was nice to realize that, too: that it wasn't the "Holy Christ, halfway across the globe" freaking I'd been doing, it was the just the usual worries traveling anywhere elicits.

And then, eventually, sixteen hours, "Horton Hears a Who," and the International Date Line later, I ended up in Busan. Andy, my boss, met me at the airport and drove me home to my new flat, showed me around, gave me 20,000 won "survival money" (1,000 W to the dollar or thereabouts, so, like, 20 bucks) and told me to be at work the next day at two. So okay.

Andy, I should say, is great. I mean, airport, survival money -- plus, he got me set up with a local bank account the next day and took me to the hospital for my immigration physical, and he's going to help me with getting Internet access (I'm using the Institute's computers for the time being) and cable ("Yeah so like uh, here's the TV and like uh...." -- here flipping through channel after channel of fuzz -- "...two fucking channels man, we gotta get you cable.") and a cell phone. I mean, sure, he's hired me and all, and has a vested interest in my having a positive experience, but he really seems sincerely interested in making sure the teachers are taken care of. I'm sure it's all in the service of maintaining a good reputation for the hagweon (the language school), but, hey, no problem. Let me say unreservedly that the World Foreign Language Institute is a good school that takes care of its teachers, and anyone interested in teaching English in Korea should apply here (preferably through Madeline Moon at Teacher Tech in Albuquerque -- she kicks ass).

I probably should mention that I start my actual job tomorrow, so the endorsement above is perhaps a bit premature. Whatever. They've been pretty awesome so far.

One more thing (I'm observing classes this week, and I have one in about five minutes.): On Tuesday, after a long sleep, I got up for work. And yeah, I'm a bit nervous, and I've just spent my first night in Korea, with a year and a career left to go, and I gotta make a good impression and all, so I shower and put on my Nice Clothes, and step outside. And the first thing I get from Busan -- from Korea -- are two grade school kids going past my building, who, as soon as I step outside, spin around and shout, in unison "Hello!"

Cutest. Ever.

I think things'll be okay here.

Blind panic and you're all invited

Uh-huh. So.

I know, it's been a while. Well, ya know, there's been stuff going on. And I should tell you about all of it -- the surreal Boston-Dallas drive punctuated with rest stop catnaps and gas prices that bleed you like Civil War surgery; David and Ashley's amazing wedding with vows that quoted Mr. Show; my Kafkaesque adventures in visa paperwork that have taken me on day trips to both Austin and Houston and finally landed me a visa yesterday; Anxiety Dream Marathon Week -- I should tell you about all of this, and perhaps I will, but I'm preoccupied at the moment. See, in case you haven't heard, I'm moving to Korea. Tomorrow. Kee-rist.

Funny, ya know, 'cause I've been "moving to Korea" for a while, and I've been plenty anxious about it for a while. And I keep hearing the "Gee, that's coming up soon" and the "Wow, you're really doing it" and "That's far" and "That's a long time" and I know, I know, I know, but now I really freakin' am, and I'm doing it to-freakin'-morrow and it's not in quotes any more.

And I still don't know a friggin' word of Korean, or how I'm gonna teach anyone friggin' English, or anything else at all, frankly... but what the hell, right? No one knows anything anyway, and I'll figure it out somehow or another, right? Ya know, a few days ago I was checking out the ESL forums trying to get some tips on how to survive and coming up totally empty. On one site, I kept finding all of the useful questions had been dominated by some guy who kept posting notes on Korean fauna; another was just horror story after horror story of not getting paid or getting fired and how Koreans are corrupt cheats and hate us anyway. And then I found some blog by some African-American woman who was heading off to Korea (has gone by now -- the entry was a couple years old) and checking forums and had seen the same dispiriting stuff and had finally concluded that most of the posters seemed to be disillusioned white kids who'd never (surprise surprise) had to deal with cultural prejudice before. And there was a comment from another African-American woman who was teaching in Seoul and having a great time and turns out Koreans are really nice, even if you're black and a woman. So, there you are: no one knows anything, and I need to quit worrying.

Oh, and speaking of comments, I finally got one, and fuck all y'all, 'cause it's from some random blog junkie who likes what I have to say about capers and not anyone I actually know. So to Lorenloo I say, stay tuned, it's just going to get weirder. And to everyone else, write me back, fuckers, or you're just going to get more of this nonsense.

One more thing. Ronnie, so you know, I didn't give her the tape after all. She got a book, and it makes much more sense.